Does the way you spend your Time move you towards Success?


It’s time to ‘make’ time for the things that are really important in our lives.  By ‘make’ I mean prioritise:

We need to list our main priorities, things that are really important to us, and then all the other stuff we spend time on.  This ‘stuff’ may include

–        playing games on the computer,

–        rehearsing negative thoughts and judgements,

–        watching television programmes that are not really interesting to us,

–        watching programs, playing games, or associating with people, that model negative behaviours,

–        focussing all our energy on one aspect of our lives, (e.g. work) while we neglect others (e.g. family or personal well-being)…

–        and many more activities on which we spend a good deal of time, when the outcomes of the time spent and the results attained are NOT ultimately the most important to our general happiness and well-being:

… So you beat the PC at Solitaire.  Well done.  How does that improve your health and wealth tomorrow, and next year, and in ten years’ time? (Except if you are paid huge amounts of money to test PC games!)

How do you define ‘success’ in your life? 

Some part of the definition may well be getting instant relief from stress and discomfort, but surely a greater part of success should be achieving mental, physical, social and other kinds of FITNESS that could ensure our CONTINUED well-being, and thus less future stress or need for instant relief.

It’s important to allocate sufficient time for Rest and Recreation, but not at the cost of financial comfort at month-end, or of physical well-being and comfortable longevity.  Not at the cost of general emotional well-being, or of healthy and supportive social relationships.

Yes, your pets ARE important, but human relationships can bring other necessary benefits that your non-complicated pets can’t: greater levels of social and personal psychological fitness and competence – which are important for any success.  One can’t replace the other – even if it feels “safer”!

We need to devote time to goal-directed Action that moves us significantly towards the ‘stuff’ we REALLY want to achieve, in order to be happy and at peace. And such ‘actions’ include sitting in meditation or playing beach volleyball with friends or sleeping enough.

Whatever quality of attention, active practice, or TIME, we steal from one area of a balanced life, will weaken our cohesed (i.e. feeling ‘together’ and not in conflict with parts of our Self) strength as a balanced being, and impact negatively, at some time, on the areas in which we are most successful and comfortable.

A concrete example would be when all your focus is on WORK, in order to provide a comfortable retirement for yourself or a comfortable life for your family, and you neglect your physical health or family connectedness to give more time to work:  So now you’re rich enough to travel, but physically no longer able to do so.  Or your family have every material desire provided but leave you for a more connected relationship… or some replace the physical closeness they need from you to have ‘feel-great’ chemical releases in their brain with harmful and addictive substances or activities that will also trigger the pleasure chemicals in the brain & body.


  1. Write a list of the ‘great’ things you really want to achieve in your life.  Be specific; list the benefits you long for that achieving these wishes will bring.  Use all 5 senses, and play the mental movies of you having achieved these goals.
  2. Do the same for each of all the spheres of your balanced existence:  Work, study, close relationship, rest & recreation, emotional/psychological growth or strengthening, physical well-being & fitness, spiritual wellbeing, social success, hobbies and dreams, family and friends, etc
  3. Now prioritise them.
  4. On a different list, Audit how you spend your time over 7 days.
  5. Group activities and foci, with the periods of time spent on each; total the time in the week spent on each.
  6. Process that total time as a fraction of 24 x 7 hours that week [=168].
  7. Now list your activities in order of most time to least time used.
  8. [Scary bit:] Compare your Top Priorities list with your Top Time Prioritised list:  Judge your results – are you working towards or away from Success in the areas of your life you say are most important to you?
  9. Decide how you would prefer the compared lists to look, then draw up a suggestion page of time allowed for your various activities, including 8 hours sleep a night and time for eating or ablutions…  Remember the total can’t exceed 168 hours per week!
  10. Take note of that template every time you choose a behaviour and set your own time for  actions towards success accordingly.
  11. Forgive yourself for every failure to stick to your ideal – guilt is wasted time and not on your Priorities list, I hope J


Every 30 minutes, ask yourself:  “Do I really choose to continue doing what I’m doing right now, or do I choose something different right now for the next 30 minutes in order to achieve my highest aspirations and best dreams?”

Best wishes, love and light, from a friend with you on many paths to higher and more valuable success, Reinette

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